Today - on the way to work - my daddy got into a car accident. He slid and ended up hitting the semi truck in front of him. The car is damaged - he would not say how much but he was going 35 mph when he hit (or there about) He's been to the dr. He has soft tissue damage (whip lash injuries)
Today more then ever i wanted to be home so i can take care of him. It frustrates me to no end that i cant take care of him.....and makes me sad...
Tomorrow is that dreaded V-day.
I used to like it... once upon a time when i didn't live away from my daddy... when i didnt have some pecker head boyfriend ruin it every single year.. when i was not married to a guy who never remembered my birthday let alone v-day.
This year will be much of the same. It will be just me (and the dog & cats). It will be quiet. I'll eat something out of the freezer and it will be a quiet night.
But i long for the special night. The one where you get all dressed up. Have a nice dinner out - maybe some dancing in the kitchen after your home. The sparklies and flowers. Just the whole specialness of the day.
It would be nice. Sure beats frozen dinners and quiet.... by a long shot!!!
Somedays i wonder if i will ever get married again. I'd like to. After pecker head i said no way EVER am i going to get engaged let alone married. But here i am..... i would like to. I look at the wedding dresses.. and the rings .. and smile..... and wonder...
~i want to go home~
Wednesday, February 13
Wednesday, February 6
Busy day
It's been a busy day and I'm seriously done in. Ran around the office. Then to see mum. Then to take the long drive home in the middle of a snow storm. I swear this city does not even send the trucks out until there is 4" on the ground already. Even the main highway was cluttered with snow/slush. Made driving very hard...and long.
Daddy is sick. He even stayed home today. I didn't get to talk to him much today because of it. Still makes me want to be home even more to make sure he's taken care of right. I hate it when he's sick and I'm too far to do anything but talk to him when he feels like calling. Yes he says I'll have years of taking good care of him.. but it's not the same..... so not the same.
A friend and I were talking of how i need a vacation. That friend made me laugh with this comment:
"You seriously need white sandy beaches, warm tropic breezes and fruity drinks with a shit load of rum in them (in the shade please, redheads go *poof* in strong tropic sun) served by well-toned cabana boys."
What made me laugh was the redheads go poof in the sun. Ya... that we do! I can remember the first time Daddy took me to FL. He went and got sunscreen in the tune of SPF 50+ and had me put it on every time i was going to be out there longer then a few minutes.
Even that thought makes me smile. Was the first time i spent an extended time with Daddy. Was the first time i saw the girls. We rented this totally amazing place on the beach! I so look forward to finding more amazing beach places. I saw the gulf for the first time.
.... I even received my first spanking and later was the first time i cried in front of Daddy.
*big smiles*
Was a great vacation.
Well I'm going to get to bed. Put my ocean sounds on and dream of happy times.
Ni ni
Daddy is sick. He even stayed home today. I didn't get to talk to him much today because of it. Still makes me want to be home even more to make sure he's taken care of right. I hate it when he's sick and I'm too far to do anything but talk to him when he feels like calling. Yes he says I'll have years of taking good care of him.. but it's not the same..... so not the same.
A friend and I were talking of how i need a vacation. That friend made me laugh with this comment:
"You seriously need white sandy beaches, warm tropic breezes and fruity drinks with a shit load of rum in them (in the shade please, redheads go *poof* in strong tropic sun) served by well-toned cabana boys."
What made me laugh was the redheads go poof in the sun. Ya... that we do! I can remember the first time Daddy took me to FL. He went and got sunscreen in the tune of SPF 50+ and had me put it on every time i was going to be out there longer then a few minutes.
Even that thought makes me smile. Was the first time i spent an extended time with Daddy. Was the first time i saw the girls. We rented this totally amazing place on the beach! I so look forward to finding more amazing beach places. I saw the gulf for the first time.
.... I even received my first spanking and later was the first time i cried in front of Daddy.
*big smiles*
Was a great vacation.
Well I'm going to get to bed. Put my ocean sounds on and dream of happy times.
Ni ni
Monday, February 4
Good Days
I have had a few good days at work lately. I have been moved back to my quality department. My new boss seems nice and she has been really easy to work with. Going to work is not so much a chore anymore - it is however still work.
Today i printed my cover letter and CV to be mailed to Insight Communications in the US. We'll see how that goes. I honestly do not expect much as i require so much documentation to live and work there. I honestly do not see a company wishing to invest so much just to get a worker there.
I miss my daddy today. More so today then the other days. I miss how he smells... how he sounds when he's right here. The little .... sounds he makes. We all make sounds. I have been told i hum when I'm content. Must be a nice sound - i don't know i don't even notice I'm doing it.
I'm nearly finished my one sock money too. I would of finished it tonight if i got home before 7pm. Such is life of a mum.... i spend time going from work to mum to home then carting kids around in the evening.
My brother called tonight. He wants to go with me to see mum on Friday. He's gonna meet me at work then we'll go over together. I'm not sure what he is expecting. Usually dinner hour is a quiet time where i help her cut her food up and then chat as she eats her dinner. We'll see what the meeting brings.
Had another unsettled sleep last night. Kept having dreams of PH showing up and waiting for me in the parking garage. The running after me as i went back into the building to get help. Dreams of him coming right into my work demanding answers. Dreams of him catching me on the stairs ..... no fun at all. Makes for a tired littleone at the start and very end of the day.
But tonight I'm gonna dream of sock monkeys and cake and being safe within my daddy's arms so i can sleep really good tonight.
:)
Today i printed my cover letter and CV to be mailed to Insight Communications in the US. We'll see how that goes. I honestly do not expect much as i require so much documentation to live and work there. I honestly do not see a company wishing to invest so much just to get a worker there.
I miss my daddy today. More so today then the other days. I miss how he smells... how he sounds when he's right here. The little .... sounds he makes. We all make sounds. I have been told i hum when I'm content. Must be a nice sound - i don't know i don't even notice I'm doing it.
I'm nearly finished my one sock money too. I would of finished it tonight if i got home before 7pm. Such is life of a mum.... i spend time going from work to mum to home then carting kids around in the evening.
My brother called tonight. He wants to go with me to see mum on Friday. He's gonna meet me at work then we'll go over together. I'm not sure what he is expecting. Usually dinner hour is a quiet time where i help her cut her food up and then chat as she eats her dinner. We'll see what the meeting brings.
Had another unsettled sleep last night. Kept having dreams of PH showing up and waiting for me in the parking garage. The running after me as i went back into the building to get help. Dreams of him coming right into my work demanding answers. Dreams of him catching me on the stairs ..... no fun at all. Makes for a tired littleone at the start and very end of the day.
But tonight I'm gonna dream of sock monkeys and cake and being safe within my daddy's arms so i can sleep really good tonight.
:)
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