New Year - Yet again

We brought in the new year much like i have in many years past. We went to bed before the new year came in. We were so tired. In the past i would watch the children of friends or family while they went out to parties. That was missing from the welcoming of this new year. The 4 to 8 children sacked out in various spots in the house while their parents went out for the night. Just as well really. I had worked that morning and I'll tell you getting up at 430am to get to work for 6am sucks butt in a very big way. I used to be at work for 630am. I loved it. Who knows i may get used to it yet. We'll see how smooth things will go when D14 has to be woken up at oh-dark-stupid to get dropped off at her fathers so she can make it to school on time.

The new year so far has not brought much things that are new. I still feel that I'm getting screwed around at my job. One day they tell me I'm going to have my quality job back. The next they say they have no budget for it. In fact, the other day i was flat out told I'm not getting it back.

I guess what hurts my feelings the most is that they appear to have assigned someone to work on "building of the quality program" that seems to have NO experience with it. She seems like a nice person. She's really quiet, nearly shy. However, all I've seen her work on is the payroll/time off (or Iroz) things. It hurts that she is from another city (Rochester, NY) when they could draw on my experiences and i LIVE here. Eventually she will have to go away when her work visa expires.

Daily its getting harder to not storm into the two program manager's office and scream 'Do i have to sleep with someone to get noticed that i have experience for the past 4+ years in a call center quality role?!' But that is rude and obnoxious and it would embarrass daddy for me to act in such a way. So i don't.

I'm so sad and frustrated with that job. I hate it. As well from Sunday night to Thursday night (and recently on the days off too) i get sick in the night. Just wake up.. get my daily dose of CCD and try to go back to bed with a churning stomach and a sore bottom. No fun. Epically when the sore bottom comes from CCD!

I must say there is a Very Good thing that has happened recently. My brother has decided he wishes us in his life again. He as called every day since Wednesday and has come over both Thursday and Friday. He has even drove D18 to work both days this weekend. Wild crazy! Its good... but weird. He acts like nothing has happened in the last 4.5 years. That in itself is weird. However weird - it is nice to have him back. I just, for some reason, don't want him doing things for me. I don't know why.

I don't know if he will ever go back to talking to mum. That is the hardest part for me. I want to tell her - but i don't. If he never goes to her.. she'll be devastated. I guess if i never say anything she will never know...... i don't know.... its complicated.

Well I'm gonna go find something to do. I don't want to dwell on this new development. I'm just glad he's here trying to make it better. It could be worse... he could still be gone from my life.....